An Interview with Flibberty-Gibbet Magazine
A typical day at Bunkhouse Central might consist of these bon mots (this interview may or may not be published in an upcoming edition of Flibberty-Gibbet Magazine):
Flibberty-Gibbet Magazine (FM): What got you two fellows into publishing, anyway?
Yves Metroplitáin (YM): My wife asks me the flip side to that: what in the hell can get me out of publishing? I suppose I'd run out of other things to give up on (laughs). I'd run out of town in order to live in the country, I gave up hope on several other forms of creative expression. I was in some decent bands, but the lifestyle was ridiculous to say the least. Really I tumbled bass-ackwards into the whole deal.
Uncle Kenzo (UK): Yves, you forgot to mention that it would cost you very little, and therefore the chances of you going broke were not so great. That's a compelling reason. Really, the reasons for getting into this are simple. It is not that hard to do. I mean, writing is actually hard. Yves warned me at the outset that it is like carving your own eyes out with a hot stick. But publishing really ain't so hard; it's just lining your ducks up. I mean, distilling scotch in your living room is difficult. It is quite difficult, actually. Yves tried that and failed (laughing). He failed to mention that amongst his various other failings...
FM: So, it is not the strong love of books and all things literary?
UK: You kidding? The last book I read was The Life and Grand Old Times of The Great Rupert Pupkin, volumes one through seven. The footnotes and instructions were particularly revealing. "How to Make Your Very Own Tin Foil Hat", was my favourite chapter. Funnily enough, I've been unable to read since then.
YM: Yes, funnily enough.
FM: What is your favourite book?
UK: Capote- In Cold Blood. It's like he took Fitzgerald's Jay Gatsby, got him a twin and sent them both directly to hell, without passing go. The hell of the broken American Dream.
YM: I don't read, I gave it up.
FM: You two are quite the goofballs. Do you guys even consider literature an important creative form?
YM: No.
UK: Hmm, when I think about it- there is music, there is cinema and the other visual arts. Those are the twin colossus of creativity right now…..and then everything else. Um, yeah, that was a fairly good answer that you gave, Yves.
FM: Uh, do you two take anything seriously?
UK: Would you like us to? We are always trying to be obliging, though this can be rather difficult at times and require that we not look at each other for long periods of time which I find to be a terrible indignation, not to mention presenting us with a frustrating obstacle- how to signal each other that it's time to run like hell for the exit.
YM: Oh I take this with great deal of seriousness. Couldn't be more serious. I seriously want to know who we pay off in order to get The Leacock Award. I've a place on my mantle put aside for it. I'll even attend the dinner.